I help run a Spiritual group, and yesterday morning our booked speaker let me know she wasn’t able to make it, so with 24 hours notice I found a replacement speaker. Sorted, I thought. However, as well we know, life often gets in the way of life, and our replacement speaker gave backwards too, at even shorter notice.
So having no alternative, and with little time to prepare, I ended up offering to work myself. Some say that working in front of your ‘home’ crowd, would be easier, as they would be supportive. But is it not also the case that ‘familiarity’ breeds contempt, as the saying goes; personally, I always feel judged when working on home turf.I feel more exposed, as people there are more likely to know, or at least know of me, and I feel I have to prove myself to them.
Last night, I was really nervous, more than usual, and very aware the audience were expecting to see someone, and hear something else. I was also full of cold – and following the day i’d had, I was feeling quite low. Genuinely I felt I could have worked much better, and I felt they (Spirit and the audience) deserved more. I knew Spirit deserved me to have been a better channel for them. I felt I had let everyone down. Feeling inwardly deflated, I was surprised by the very positive feedback, and comments. To be honest, at first I thought people were being polite.
More positive feedback still, has been fed onto the Facebook group today. Last night was a surprise, and a huge learning curve for me. How well or otherwise we do something is often more honestly appraised by others than by ourselves, as our own perception is often skewed one way or the other. Our expectations of what we are able to achieve, and our self perception can all too easily become over-inflated, or deflated. Last night I know I was working with very little expectation (of myself), but with huge desire and intent to not let Spirit down. The following wisdom I was given, now makes so much sense:
‘Working in humility, the ego recedes and allows the Soul to shine’
(Gifted by Spirit 12.4.18)